Yes, he is My Guru

I did the Happiness Program in 2004, and I started attending the weekly follow-up sessions after the course. I always had a soothing, peaceful feeling each time, and there was a natural cheerfulness and feeling of being healthy at all levels, even if I wasn’t mindfully aware of it. I also attended the Advanced meditation programs and felt a meditative joy while attending them and listening to bhajans often. I frequently attended AMP’s until 2008. But then I strayed away from the path. I began spiritual shopping but personally, other forms of meditation did not help me or my stress in the difficult situations of life. I felt myself slipping as part of my own doing. I didn’t realize the immense value and importance of the Sudarshan kriya, or of having an enlightened Guru in my life. Fortunately, I started attending AMP’s again in 2018 and joined the online daily sadhana. It was a blessing, especially once the pandemic began.

I had a rough patch for two years in 2018, but the sadhana helped me greatly. I noticed awareness and happiness returning to me, and I was grateful for his grace. I faced many difficulties, kept feeling dejected, and couldn’t commit strongly due to financial stress. Compounded by other problems, I had a breakdown in June 2021. It was a severe depressive episode. I had an acute reaction to stress and developed mood disorder and hypomania symptoms. In most cases, patients lose insight and live in a world of illness.

As a psychiatrist, I could empathize with myself and could humbly take the advice of my friend, who is a professor of psychiatry. I took the medication she recommended, but I acknowledged how kriya helped me during this episode. My family didn’t understand my pain, and one day I silently cried and prayed to Guruji to help me. After a while, an idea struck me. I called up a senior teacher and told her what I was going through. She immediately told me to rule out a psychotic episode by consulting a doctor, and to determine if I’m fit to attend meditation. I went with my brother to be assessed, which was yet another humbling experience. I was grateful to get insight into what I was going through, and I was told I could attend meditation. While I couldn’t follow all the instructions, I did sit through them. I would also like to mention that while I could not do kriya, I was still watching Gurudev’s Satsangs and Bhagavad Gita knowledge on YouTube, especially when I could not sleep.

I thought about how I had once heard that Gurudev doesn’t sleep for very long as he is busy helping people worldwide. Even during the pandemic, he virtually attended courses in various parts of the world in different time zones. I remembered Gurudev had once said it’s okay if you cannot do Seva yourself, pray for the world and those who are doing Seva. This prayer would often arise in my mind for Him, for Bhanu didi, and for teachers and devotees everywhere.

I was fortunate enough to sit for a live session with Guruji, I felt his divine, kind, and gentle voice in my heart. The words of affirmation popped up: “Yes, this is my Guru.” After that session, I started feeling a little better and felt my healing process began. I felt overwhelming love and gratitude during the Guru Poornima session. I feel overwhelmed by His kindness because He accepts everyone as they are. By being on the path, He is with us and guiding us, even if we don’t know it. For a person like me who has strayed away from the path and didn’t do kriya regularly, I learned this the hard way.

Gurudev has touched the lives of millions of people all over the world. I am grateful to the Master and the path. Salutations to Gurudev. Gratitude to the volunteers for creating this website. Gratitude to the Teachers who take us together, bring us To Gurudev, and to the path, which is Gurudev’s blessing to the world.