As an ardent devotee of Gurudev Sri Sri Ravishankar Ji, I find it almost impossible to express the inexpressible. But today, on the occasion of Guru Purnima, I feel compelled to sing the glory of the Guru Principle and the immeasurable love and compassion of my beloved Gurudev. From a very young age, I have felt the presence of an unseen, loving hand guiding me through life’s most difficult times. Even amid the impossible, I have witnessed miraculous outcomes that I know could only have come through the grace and force of God. I learned early on that with purity in heart and God’s grace, harm cannot come to us. But when I lost my younger brother in 1998, I found it hard to reconcile with life’s unfairness. I slipped into depression and began questioning God’s ways. Then, two months later, I was introduced to the Art of Living Basic Course (now called the Happiness Program) by a friend and my husband. Little did I know that behind the course was a spiritual Master from my hometown, speaking my mother tongue, Kannada. The course contents impressed my intellect, but the real transformation came during the Eye Gazing process, where tears flowed from my eyes, and I felt my brother’s presence in every pair of eyes I gazed into. I realized that we are all connected and that consciousness is one. The cleansing and recovery from grief process started from there on. I practiced Sudarshan Kriya every morning, it would bring all my pent-up emotions to surface and I would shed copious tears remembering my brother. ‘why did you have to leave so early? Life is so beautiful’. ‘Anyway, don’t worry about anything. Everything will be taken care of. You rest in peace’. One early morning he appeared in a lucid dream looking so healthy in a pure white kurta pajama which he never wore when he was in the body. I was standing on the ground looking up at him standing on a balcony high above. There was a kind of detachment in his demeaner, quite in contrast to my eagerness to connect. He had truly crossed over! In another dream, I saw myself mothering him as he laid his head on my knees and there was a close connection. He told me lovingly ‘If you keep grieving for me like this, constantly, how can I rest in peace? :. I got the message. I was disturbing him. That was the last time I cried for him after doing Kriya. I knew he was in a much happier space. Since then, my husband and I have made seva (selfless service) our priority in life. The journey was not easy, but Gurudev never promised comfort at all times. Instead, He says that comfort brings boredom, and discomfort helps us appreciate joy in totality. I feel secure in the knowledge that I will be given what is needed at the right time. I have learned to value love above everything else, seeing Gurudev shower unconditional love, and I feel uniquely loved by Him, more than even my parents have ever loved me. I have not become rich, famous, or powerful, but I am gradually losing my limited identity. Spirituality is a game of losing. Here one who loses all is a winner. I do not have the feverishness to be near Gurudev as I feel His presence all the time, but I cherish taking His Darshan when my longing becomes intense. In closing, I want to share what Gurudev has said in His Promise poem, where He reminds us that desires, whether fulfilled or unfulfilled, bring frustration, and that we should always strive for something higher. Jai Guru Dev! Leela Ramesh
My First Encounter with Gurudev at the Part 2 Program in Houston
